The Invincible Summer

Each of us has, according to Albert Camus, an invincible summer. The quote, which is translated variously, is: "It was in the midst of winter that I discovered in me an invincible summer."

We will have tremendous challenges as we muddle our way through life. It's the nature of life to be filled with both joy and despair. One of our main goals as we live it should be to find a middle road.

We enjoy the blissful joy but not the despair. Yet, would we enjoy the former so much if we did not know the latter? I'll not say that I enjoy the "winter" but I will say that I understand why we have it. I will also say that I'm supremely grateful to have discovered my own "invincible summer".

The family unit is so important. Everyone knows that it comes in all shapes and sizes. Not all families, however, are created equally. A child born to a meth-addict mother does not have a level playing field with someone like my granddaughters who are born to caring and conscientious adults.

We as a society need to strengthen families. I don't know how, but we cannot countenance this continued disintegration of the family. Not to belabor the fact that I have a completed manuscript, but a family disintegration is detailed, step-by-step, in it.

I find it horrifying.

Weather is an interesting part of life. Snowfall is used in YDKJ as a symbol of cleansing. As I look out the window this morning at the newest white "gift" I'm thinking that I'm a little tired of snow.

Living rurally as we do, we are responsible for snow removal and/or storage. Right now the berms on the side are so high that it's nearly impossible for my plow to throw it up and over. That either means that we have enough snow or we're going to have to bring in some heavy equipment.

Interestingly, all the parents who live nearby manage to help their children make it to school, work, sports, and church. They just rachet up their responsibility quotient and get the job done.

It's nice to be associated with people who take their responsibilities so seriously.

YDKJ deals, in part, in searching for foster parents. So what makes good foster parents?

Every person who wants to help these special children falls into one of two categories: foster parent or adoptive parent. Foster parents realize that they are temporary and adoptive parents have trouble with that. It is imperative that the correct fit be distinguished if there is to be any measure of success. There is a place for each, but trouble can happen when a foster parent has the mindset of an adoptive parent, and vice versa.

Probably the most important thing is for the foster/adoptive parent to know him-or-herself well enough to know where he or she would shine.

Are there children who cannot be saved?

Possibly, but we as a society still need to try our hardest. Jack, in the manuscript, will never lead any kind of productive life. There is no place for him in regular foster care. How should society warehouse a child who is amoral and without any feelings?

Sometimes the needs of a community outweigh the needs of individuals in that community. When there are children who are predators people must be protected. It is a sad thing when a child loses freedoms and his behavior isn't his fault. It's sad for adults, too.

Just read an overview of the book, "Hope's Boy" by Andrew Bridge. It says that he "is on a mission to fix a system he barely survived". The scary thing is that, in many ways, his stint in foster care was wildly successful. He was not separated from siblings, he was not (in the part I read) severely abused, and he didn't have multiple placements. But, he didn't have love, caring, or any sense of belonging. There are serious problems with the foster care system and they need to be addressed. My manuscript (YDKJ) shines light on community efforts and issues because that's what I know. His book is about what he knows all to well and what he is doing to help those children mired in the foster care system. I wish him the best.

A big challenge in our current foster care system is the fact that many of those involved don't always "play nice". When a person, whether it be a counselor, caseworker, or foster parent, has crippling emotional issues it is difficult to focus on the child's needs. Nearly everyone has personal prejudices and these can color the way we behave. It is unfortunate when the best choices for a child would be impacted by the feelings of those in charge of that child's life. A fairly common example is assuming a child in care is less than smart because of the bad choices family members have made. Sadly, when treated like this, the child will live down to the expectations.